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With an epic and infamous disregard for popular trends and nice haircuts, the three quasi-virtuosos that are Australian legends THE HARD ONS are back with their first new studio album in three years – and with an album that truly represents the Hard-Ons at their most realised: melodic; brutal;  and funny.  “ALFALFA MALES ONCE SUMMER IS DONE CONFORM OR DIE” is at once a face-peeling thrash-metal album, slash-and-burn punk album and a brilliantly catchy power-pop album. But you would expect that from a band that for a quarter of a century laughed at the mainstream and deliberately shunned it; a band that gloriously does what it instinctively feels; paradoxically, a band that carefully and organically crafts its musical output with the utmost respect that it deserves.

In this era of downloading, social-networking and over-the-top consumerism, the world needs, as outrageous as this sounds, the new album from three shirtless middle-aged men who still play like they are the only band on the planet.

1.  Feisty    
2.  Cigarettes    
3.  In The End We All Die Alone  
4.  Everyone Seems To Be Out To Get You 
5.  The Media Frenzy That Followed 
6.  I'm A Frozen Boy   
7.  Damp
8.  Near The Casino
9.  Farmer Wants A Root
10. Burn Everything
11. Keep Talking My Eyes Aren't Completely Glazed Over
12. Tie Ya Mother Down
13. Give Me Arse A Haircut
14. Atomic Handshake
15. 1st Element Is Sweat aka SG's At Dawn
16. Pretend It's Vanilla
17. The Socialists' Smoko
18. Hero To Hero
19. Aunty

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